The 5 R’s Of Emotionally-Rewarding Retirement

How does someone flourish during retirement?  Best adjust to the changes?

Like any other transition, retirement is one of our biggest life changes/transitions. As with all changes we need – Insight into ourselves – our needs and desires, a vision of a successful retirement, an action plan … and support and encouragement to get there.

Not just stopping working, but creating a thriving lifestyle that addresses each person’s needs for fulfilling relationships, connection to others/society, personal interests and pursuits and a general sense of connection, significance and purpose. Once you have decided to retire how can one best navigate the emotional components of this huge transition?

The old outdated version of retirement has 2 Rs- Rest and Relaxation, now experience the new updated version of retirement has 5 Rs - cool huh!

Retirement is a big life transition and one that needs to be carefully planned and considered. All too often people think happiness will come just because they aren’t working, but there is much more to it than that. Granted, the initial reprieve and stress relief from daily demands of a full-time job may be a tremendous relief of pressure in the short-term, but after a period of time, a few months or a year, other needs and feelings begin to surface.  Retirement is a total identity shift – it is a process – not a one day event – if you prepare well financially and emotionally, you can feel confident, purposeful and fulfilled during the process. Today I would like to review the key needs and components of creating a retirement lifestyle that is successful and emotionally rewarding retirement and the transition/change that one goes through.

The 5 Rs of an Emotionally Rewarding Retirement. 

What role does self-knowledge play in retirement?

1)   Re-Discover you. Discover who you are and want to be now. What is my purpose going forward? How can I be useful and of service? Who am I without my career? How can I best take care of my overall health? Learn about yourself. This part is about building a new identity not based on work. This would be a wonderful time to re-discover you and take time to reevaluate your needs and desires. Understand yourself better and what gives you life satisfaction. What you enjoyed or wanted at 30 or 40 may have changed. It is time to re-explore you – your emotional, social, physical, mental and spiritual needs and desires. Retirement is about you – give yourself the gift of discovery.

What about the role of physical activity? Is this a factor?

2)   Raise those feel-good endorphins. Stay as physically engaged and active as you possibly can. Most people overestimate their need for downtime and relaxation and underestimate their need for a wide range of activities that brings physical and intellectual stimulation and overall good health.  Don’t get in the habit of being sedentary. Keep activity up – there are many physical and emotional consequences of being sedentary. Keep moving – Daily exercise of some sort will keep you healthy and boost the “feel good” endorphins that help us stay positive. i.e. a water aerobics class, light weights, walking to the store or more aerobic activities such as walking, biking or tennis.

Many people think once you hit retirement it is too late to start something new? Is this true?

3)   Re-explore interests & dreams. Develop a variety of personal passions and pursuits. If you are a young retiree this is a great opportunity to not only stay active but to revisit dreams you had put on a shelf for someday – now is that someday! Take risks, learn new things you didn’t have time for before. Possibly go back to school. Find a cause you truly are passionate about. Take up a hobby like painting or fishing. If you’ve always wanted to travel but never had the time – research places and go – now is the time!

What about relationships – once we aren’t working anymore those must change pretty drastically?

4)   Redefine your relationship roles. Have frank and cooperative conversations about what you want your relationship to look like and create a vision for the future, together you and the people closest to you can create an energetic vision. Your relationships with your spouse, friends, parents and/or children become more important and different once your role as a worker has been reduced or eliminated.  You may need more privacy or more companionship activities together. Have a franxious conversation about the upcoming changes and more importantly – how you FEEL about them. Sharing fears, hopes and vulnerablities will bring you closer together.  You may want to see a marriage therapist of coach to co-create your future and what you may encounter as far as change as you navigate the sea of retirement. If you are single it simplifies things because you are mainly considering your needs. Sense work is no longer a source for companionship, you will need to maintain even stronger bonds with friends and seek out new relationships and groups.

Retirement brings a lot of free personal time. Is this a plus or minus?

5)   Reorient yourself by building a new routine.  While personal freedom and flexibility is wonderful – When you are working your day is shaped by the familiar demands of your career. When you are retired, there is more open space and you now – you must plan your day, week and month.  Once you have discovered new interests or rekindled old ones, it will be important to schedule activities and build your day around these activities so that your day is filled with what is most important to you. If not boredom, disillusionment, and depression can set in.

Michele Wahlder, MS, LPC, PCC

Life & Career Coach . Author . Speaker

214-823-LIFE (5433)

www.lifepossibilities.com

michele@lifepossibilities.com

www.alphatudes.com

 ”We can become what we dream of if fat, furry worms can fly.”

- From “Butterfly” by Jana Stanfield/Joyce Rouse”

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